I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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