All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
