what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
