i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
