Where did you get a picture of my penis
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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