No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
