The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
