My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
