You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
