i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize