I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
