do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
