My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
