Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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