I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
