You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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