Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
