yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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