well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize