hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
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