I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
