Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
