I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I forget how to act sober
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
