Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
