I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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