Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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