Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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