this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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