This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
