Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
50% drunk capacity currently
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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