Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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