Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
