Christians are straight up FREAKS
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
