Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
