another moral hangover. fuck.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
