Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
