is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
