Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
