Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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