dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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