Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
