she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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