i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize