your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
