Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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