We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize