hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mom said you looked used
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
