Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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