i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just want to make out with him forever
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
