she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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