we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
