He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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