So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
