This house was built for laser tag.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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