STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize