those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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