One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
