Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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