I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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