8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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