yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
