Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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