Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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