that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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