I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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